Keep My Own

By Kit Linford

(Previous chapter)

Chapter 4

Synopsis: Irene Spencer, who met her husband Dick in South Africa, feels lonely and discouraged as she tries to adjust to her new surroundings in a small town near alt Salt Lake City. Dick has taken her to the shabby old family home, and her new household consists of Dick’s Grandfather, his Aunt Ella, and his small handicapped brother David. However, as Irene and Ella scrub and clean and polish the house, a feeling of belonging there comes to Irene, and she feels a loving tenderness toward David and a responsibility for the boy.

Summer aged rapidly as work on the house progressed. Hot gusts of wind slapped at Irene as she hurried to and from necessary errands. Infrequent thunder showers gave little respite. They arrived too seldom and were obliterated too soon by the acid sun.

Granddad met her late one sweltering afternoon as she hurried into the inviting coolness of the house. The thick walls rejected much of the heat, keeping the interior refreshingly cool.

“Hot weather getting you down?” he asked kindly.

“You forget where I come from.” She shook her head. “South Africa is much hotter than this. I’m used to heat.” She shifted her groceries from one arm to the other.

“Here, let me take those for you,” Granddad said. She relinquished them as they made their way to the kitchen, and he went on, “Well, if we can endure it for another month or so, the weather will start to break. Some folks like spring best of any time of year. I like it, too, after months of winter, but autumn is my favorite. Wait until you see our mountains in the fall of the year. They’re almost too beautiful to be true. All red and gold and brown and yellow … and a little green that’s too tenacious to change until snow falls. Ella goes into the hills and brings back huge bouquets of fall leaves to decorate the house for Thanksgiving. The heat loosens its grip, and the nights are cool. We have a little rain, but not a lot. Yes, if I had to choose a time of year, it would be the autumn.”

Irene sighed. She didn’t fully appreciate the picture he had painted with words, for she had never experienced that of which he spoke. “In a way I like the heat. It reminds me of home.”

Granddad was aware of her homesickness. When she received a letter from South Africa, she would be quiet and withdrawn into her own thoughts for hours. He wanted to tell her that Spencerside was her home. The house they labored over so lovingly was her home as well as theirs. In his wisdom. Granddad knew it would do no good to tell her these things. Such knowledge had to come from within Irene herself. She had to feel at home before she would be.

The cool air of the house was intermingled with the strong odor of paint. Imposed over that was the aroma of bread baking.

”How delightful!” Irene exclaimed.

”You mean the bread? Ella bakes the best bread in Spencerside. She wanted to try out that new oven. I knew we’d have something homebaked. I thought it would be cake or pie, or maybe Davy’s favorite peanut butter cookies. I’m glad she decided on bread.”

Ella was peeping into the oven through the window in the door at the richly browned loaves inside.

“Ella, that bread smells wonderful,” Irene said.

“You mean you can smell something besides paint? That’s nice to know.” Ella picked up two hot pads and opened the oven. She turned the loaves out on the white tile counter, then straightened them proudly on a rack to cool.

“It’s cool in here,” Irene said as Granddad began putting the groceries away. “It’s like an oven downtown.”

Ella shrugged. She was more interested in the beauty that surrounded her in the new kitchen than in reports on the weather outside. The new cupboards were fruitwood, stained and polished to a richly glowing hue. The wall where the two skinny windows used to be had been removed, and sliding glass doors opened onto the new terrace just outside.

“Has Dick come back from Salt Lake?” Irene asked.

“No. There were some calls for him. I wrote down the messages.”

“Where’s Davy?” Granddad asked.

“He was here just a minute ago. He thought I was baking cookies, and when he saw I wasn’t, he left. He may be upstairs in his room.” Ella began measuring flour and sugar and shortening. “Can’t disappoint the child. I’ll just get some cookies baking while that oven’s hot.” The oven, then, had been approved.

Irene’s thoughts were still with Dick. “He was really working to get the contract he went to see about today. I do hope he gets it.”

Ella glanced over at Irene through a dust of flour on her eyelashes. “Did you go to the doctor today?”

“Yes.” Irene was weary. She known what question was coming next, and dreaded the prospect.

“Did you talk to him about having the baby here at home?”

“I told him you had suggested it. I told him it was a family tradition. ‘All babies in the Spencer family are born in that house,’ I said.”

“Well?”

“He wouldn’t hear of it.”

Ella stiffened. “Did you tell him I would be here to look after things? Dick and Davy were born in the big front bedroom upstairs, just as their father was. It’s only fitting that Dick’s son be born there, too.”

Granddad cut the end from a loaf of fresh bread. As he buttered it generously, he asked, “Don’t you think the doctor knows best, Ella?”

“Tush! Women have been having babies since time began. There’s never been the fuss made about it that there is now.” Ella would not be gainsaid. “I’ll phone the doctor myself. We’ll straighten this out right now.” She reached toward the phone.

”No.” Irene shook her head. “I’m sorry you’re not pleased about it, but I prefer to have the baby in the hospital anyway. Even if the doctor didn’t care. They’ll take good care of us there.”

“Not as good as I would!” Ella beat her cookie dough vigorously. “It’s the way things have always been done in the Spencer family. I don’t know why we should change now. What was good enough for Dick’s mother ought to be good enough for his wife.”

Irene’s brittle patience had worn thin. “This is our decision, Ella, mine and Dick’s. I feel better about going to the hospital, and the doctor advises it, so Dick will want me to do that. We’ve talked it over. Dick, the doctor, and I have made the decision.”

Granddad tried to ease the tension. “You seem convinced the baby will be a boy, Ella. What if Irene has a girl?”

“I’d like a girl,” she said shortly, “but all the Spencer babies have been boys since your own father was born.” Ella spoke as if that settled the matter.

“Maybe it’s time for a change. Variety is the spice of life, they say. Old as I am, if I’m going to have any of that spice, I’d better be getting started. I’d be pleased with a boy. But if the good Lord decides it’s time to grace the line with a bit of femininity, I’ll be pleased about that, too. It might be interesting to think of the future in terms of petticoats and curls.”

Irene smiled wearily. “I’ll have you both know it won’t make one iota of difference to Dick and me. I’m going to have so many children that out of such an abundance I’ll be fairly sure to get a supply of all the kinds there are.”

The telephone jangled before she finished speaking. It was a welcome break. Ella’s lips were pursed tightly in a thin line. She was beating her cookie dough with a vengeance.

Irene picked up the receiver. “Hello.”

“Irene? Good news, honey. I got the contract. One of the biggest to be let in this series. Puts me right in line for others, too. Get on your best bonnet and bustle, sweetheart, we’re going out to celebrate.”

“Oh, Dick, that’s just wonderful.”

“It’s a big break for us.”

“A break you got because you’ve been working night and day to make it. I’m so proud of you, Dick.”

“I’ll be home in an hour or so.” There was a note of modest pleasure in his voice because she was proud. “Can you be ready?”

“I’ll try. I’ve been in town all day.” Not wishing to spoil the triumph for him, she added, “I’ll go lie down for a few minutes, then I’ll be rested and ready.”

“Fine. See you soon, then.”

As she replaced the instrument, she turned to Granddad and Ella. “Dick got the contract. Isn’t that marvelous?”

Granddad’s face lit with a measure of her own sentiments. “It certainly is,” he said. “I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before he started moving ahead. He’s a go-getter, that grandson of mine.”

Irene brushed his forehead with a kiss, relishing the companionship of mutual pride. She looked toward Ella’s starched back, then left the room, knowing the older woman was still seething. Ella wasn’t speaking. She was silent only when she was angry.

The room next to Dick and Irene’s had been converted to a nursery. Irene had adopted a habit of going through it each time she went to her own room. Being there gave her a great deal of pleasure. Today, as she stepped to the door, she saw Davy.

He stood enraptured in the center of the gay yellow and white room. His large eyes noted every detail, from the nursery prints on the walls to the old-fashioned rocker that Ella had donated. Irene had made a thick cushion of pale yellow and white quilting for the back and seat of the rocker and the same material was repeated in the padding on a work table as well as in the covering on the chaise lounge under one of the windows. Most of all, Davy was fascinated by the bassinet. It stood in resplendent anticipation, a delicate puff of white eyelet ruffles and tiny yellow embroidered flowers. Davy’s thin little hand touched a bit of fluff, and stroked a downy yellow comforter. Irene had mooned over the bassinet herself frequently, so she could understand Davy’s obvious delight.

“It’s for the baby, Davy,” she said.

His eyes were expressionless as they turned to her, but he didn’t try to run away. She stood in indecision, wondering what she could do or say to strengthen this sudden acceptance of her presence. Davy solved the problem himself. He walked to the rocking chair and touched the polished arm of it, setting it in motion. They stood and watched the steady movement together.

He looked up at her again. She was vaguely disappointed to see the vacant expression still on his face, but she managed to smile. He grinned in return, giving his elfin face a strange cross-expression between a smile and a void.

He left the room as silently as he had probably come. Irene didn’t have her usual sick feeling that he was trying to escape her. Through the wall of his silence, a root of understanding was forcing its way.

She lay down on the massive four-poster bed that had been Dick’s mother’s before it was hers, but before she slipped into the refreshing oblivion of sleep, she murmured softly, half-aloud, ”He understood. Davy understood.”

Dick was dressing for dinner when she wakened. It was nearly dark outside.

”Oh, Dick, you should have awakened me. It’s so late.”

“Not too late. Granddad said you were pretty tired when you got home this afternoon.” He walked to the bed and stood looking down at her. “How do you feel now?”

She stretched like a contented cat. “Rested. Lazy.” She reached out with both hands. He took them, helping her to a sitting position.

Then, remembering, she said, ”Davy was in the nursery when I got home this afternoon. We had such a pleasant few moments together. I felt as if we really communicated for the first time.”

Hope leaped to Dick’s eyes. He found her slippers and brought them to her. ”I wanted to talk to you about that. I wondered if you still thought he was too much of a burden for you … now, or after the baby comes …”

She waited, not quite knowing what he expected her to say.

”I had halfway decided that the first good contract I got, we could spend part of the money to send Davy away to a school for mutes, if you want to. There’s an outstanding one in Texas that specializes in his type of case … if you really want to send him away.”

She paused in the act of slipping her feet into the slippers. She looked up at her husband, knowing the heartache such a decision would have cost him.

”Oh, Dick, I can’t deny how often I’ve wished for that. Sometimes I was sure it would be better for everyone concerned, including Davy and the baby. Now … now I know it was just selfishness on my part. A selfish wish to shirk a responsibility that’s rightfully mine. Selfishness. If anyone had ever told me I would be selfish concerning the welfare of a child!

“I want Davy to have every possible chance,” she said evenly. “A few weeks ago I would have agreed without a second thought. Now, I want to do what’s right and best. He wouldn’t be happy so far from all of us. Nor would we be happy with him gone. I couldn’t deprive him of the only love and security he knows. Not unless it’s necessary … as you said, darling, the last resort. If the doctors advise us to do that … not unless. Dick, I never fully realized until just now. I’ve been very selfish, haven’t I?”

He was uncomfortable. “I understand how you felt.”

“I know you tried. Well, this is Davy’s home,” she said with conviction. “He belongs in this house with his family. If we have to have outside help, we should be thinking in terms of bringing a speech therapist to him, not of sending him away. We haven’t given Davy or ourselves much chance. We’ve been so involved with other things … remodeling, the business, the baby… . Later, if we’re sure we’ve failed, we’ll talk to the doctor about a teacher or a school.”

He grinned one-sidedly at her. “You’ve been talking to Granddad.”

“Yes. He’s so wise and good, Dick.”

He took her into his arms and held her close. “If we’re going out we’d better be getting ready,” he said at last.

As she was getting dressed, he said, “I understand you had a few words with Ella today.”

Her hairbrush stopped in the silk of her honey-hued hair. “I’m sorry,” she said. “We did. I was so tired, I guess I was curt.” Her eyes met his in the mirror as he stood in back of her knotting his tie. She turned to help him, and went on, “I didn’t use much diplomacy, I’m afraid.”

”Maybe it’s all for the best. Ella means well. She wouldn’t do anything to interfere, if she thought she was interfering … or to hurt us for the world. She’s been the only woman for so long, and she’s used to running things pretty much her way. It’s a sharp slap for a queen bee to suddenly find herself sharing her throne with another queen.”

“I know. And she’s our rock, Dick, the base this family revolves around. We just couldn’t get along without her.”

He nodded. ”Maybe she can come to understand that in things pertaining to our private lives, we have to make our own choices frequently without her help. She only wants what she thinks is right. We’re having to adjust even now. We should be able to understand that the adjustments have been just as difficult for Ella, too.”

(To be continued)