Most – but by no means all – mission presidents’ wives of the early 20th century were set apart to direct the “women’s work” in the missions: to direct the mission Relief Society, and to teach local members, most of whom had never lived in the stakes to have first-hand awareness of how the Church worked in practical terms. I suspect that many of these women had even broader responsibilities that haven’t generally come to our knowledge because records and written history focus so heavily on the priesthood leadership of the missions. But once in a while there is an exception …

Because she kept such extensive personal records, Leah Dunford Widtsoe’s activities in leading the women’s work of the European Mission from 1927 to 1933 can be far better known. The work of her husband, apostle John A. Widtsoe, took him frequently away from their home base in England (first in Liverpool, then in London) to visit the Continental missions. John treated Leah as a full partner in their work; she acted as his counselor (mission presidents had no formal priesthood counselors until just after World War II), ran the mission while he was away, and counseled missionaries and members through personal matters. Here’s one example of such counseling.

Early in August 1928, a woman convert living in Woolwich (a district of London), wrote to Leah for advice. Nora Wilkinson had been baptized only two weeks earlier. She was about 30 years old, a single woman living with her mother. She was already feeling the urge that came to so many with baptism: A desire to gather with a sufficient number of other Latter-day Saints that she could fully live her religion. In her case, that meant emigration to Utah, and she immediately began making plans and gathering the documents she would need to meet recently tightening restrictions on American immigration.

While Nora wanted to go to Utah, she had another option she needed to consider. A man in Bristol who had courted her for 12 years finally made up his mind and asked her to marry him. He expected her answer within a few days.

Nora wrote, “Once I was very much in love with him indeed, and would have been proud of being his wife. But now I feel my love is greater for the Gospel and perhaps he might raise obstacles in my path to the future.” He was seven years older than Nora, not religiously inclined, and she did not feel that she would be able to influence him with regard to religion. She consulted her mother, who was not LDS, and her mother “naturally feels that perhaps it would be best for me to marry & have a comfortable position here in England rather than go to a strange country where I know nobody and start afresh at the age of thirty.” And, too, Nora did not wish to slight her suitor. “I shall be hurting his feelings as well, as I am the only girl in all these years that he wished to make his wife.”

But the draw of gathering with a large body of the Saints was also alluring – enough, almost, to overcome the obvious advantages of accepting the proposal. She still wasn’t sure after considering the pros and cons. “I have tried so hard to figure it out and still cannot be sure,” she wrote to Leah. “I need your counsel and advice very badly. I have worried and wondered which course I ought to take in the future and am still at a deadlock, so I thought perhaps you will advise me and so let my mind rest.”

Leah answered within the week, first acknowledging that she had her own conflicts over the counsel she would give. “I must tell you that as a member of our Church I must give you one answer, while as a mother I would probably give you another.”

First, speaking as a Church member: “Of course, we advocate that as far as possible our girls should marry young men of their own faith … The rule is made for our own happiness and not for any other church reason. If a man and woman are united spiritually as they are physically and mentally, there is much better hope for happiness in the marriage relation.”

But speaking as a mother, Leah could not be quite so rigid. “Realizing the difficulty that is before our young women here, we cannot adhere too strictly to this rule. …Many young women feel, however, that they are more desirous of having a home and children, and for that reason are willing to take the risk of marriage outside of the church in the hope that some day they may be able to convert their husbands, and many times this is done, to the joy and satisfaction of all concerned.”

After acknowledging both points of view – points that Nora had considered and must have been relieved to have Leah validate by restating them in her own words – Leah told Nora that of course she must make up her own mind. She offered two points for considerations.

There are two questions upon which you must be satisfied before you give your final answer. The first concerns you; the second concerns the young man. First: Do you love him sufficient to undertake the journey of life with a man who does not hold dear the sacred things of your life? If you are sure you have such love for him, then you may be safe in undertaking the journey of life in the hope that some day he may see the light. There are two points on which, I should think, he would want to satisfy you. First, Will he be willing to let you live your religion as you desire to do it? of course, never in a way to interfere with his happiness, and never to make your religion in any sense a burden to him? But, you must reserve the right to worship God according to the dictates of your own conscience.

The second point is in regard to the children that might bless your union. Would he be willing to let you teach your children what you think to be right and to bring them up to be God-fearing and to attend church and receive the benefits of communion with your own people? If he is a broad-minded, fine-charactered young man, I feel sure that he will have no objection to granting you these privileges which should be the inherent right of every mother; and if you love him and he feels willing to let you live your religion as you desire to do I, I should say to you: Go forward and trust the rest to your Heavenly Father. But, if these questions are answered in the negative, then it may be just an indication of future disagreement and unhappiness.

Leah counseled Nora to consider these points with the input of her perhaps-husband-to-be: “These are the points you will have to consider carefully and prayerfully with him.”

Nora did not respond to Leah for more than a month, but when she did, her mind was clear and she was happy. She described the “stupor of thought” she had experienced. “I had been praying very hard for guidance the week I received your letter and it seemed to strengthen the feeling I had when it arrived, that I should be wrong in marrying out of the church. It seemed to me that if I had loved the gentleman, as one should to be happy when married, there ought not to be any doubt of right or wrong and yet I seemed to hesitate.”

But as she “continued to ask God in Heaven to show [her] clearly the path which [she] should take,” she received a letter from America carrying the paperwork – the affidavit of a person willing to sponsor her and undertake to support her if necessary so that she did not become a public charge – that would make it possible to emigrate. “This was my answer (to me it seemed the path was clearly shown)” – especially when added to Leah’s words of counsel. “It was a great help to me to have your letter to think of and I am sure that even if he had let me continue to attend the Church he would not have agreed to my children going also.”

Her mind was finally clear: “I do not think I shall ever regret the decision I have made, as I feel sure the Lord will be on my side.”

I have not yet been able to trace Nora’s future movements. Her name is surprisingly common, and I don’t have quite enough identifying information to be able to pick her out of the possibilities. ((Looking for her in the London membership records may provide the necessary added information.)) I hope her life was happy. And I like this glimpse of wisdom in the life and mission of Leah Dunford Widtsoe.