I suppose that notable men, including leaders of the Church, generally marry women who are their equals in spirit, mind, and outlook. So often in our history, though, the wives of most Church leaders are visible to us only as they stand beside their husbands, keeping the home running while the men are serving, traveling with them to conferences and on missions, but their own lives generally not on display in the way we tell our history.

May Booth Talmage (1868-1944) is one of those women who must have been as remarkable as her husband James E. Talmage, but about whose personal life I have known next to nothing. Most information instantly available about her is really about him – “her” life sketches state her life dates and parentage, turn to the story of how James E. courted her (telling more about his education and career than about her as his student), then become complete biographies of him with only the note that she accompanied him when he served as European Mission president, where she presided over mission auxiliaries.

Presented here are excerpts from a letter May wrote to a friend. Because it focuses on the passing of James – or “J.E.” as May calls him – it may continue that theme of focusing on him rather than her. Even so, as I read it I felt like I was getting a sense of May herself  — those she socialized with, especially (and how about the great reference here to her adaptation to new technology?).

662 North 5th East Provo
Sept. 25, 1933

…

I shall not write much about my bereavement, which I seem to feel more keenly as the weeks pass, but shall hope that [later] I can talk of things of which it is somewhat difficult to write just now.

On Friday before J.E. was stricken with tonsilitis which resulted in his passing, he was talking with Sterling ((The Talmages’ oldest son, who had long been his father’s secretary and who was by now working as a geologist in New Mexico)) (who was leaving next day for his home in N.M.) and me, and said quite earnestly, “I would like John ((A younger son, who was on his way home from his mission to England when his father died)) to attend the B.Y.U. next year. I think he will get there more that will be of value to him in his future work.” There were many things to discuss and never dreaming I would not have ample opportunity to question further as to his remark concerning John, we passed to other subjects.

When John arrived home he was amazed at what his Father had said, because all his plans had been to return to the U. and continue his course in science. There was no question however in his mind as to what he would do, but many queries as to why.

After our three years separation, we did not like the thought of each living alone again, and so I am down here with him, for the school year at least. We are very comfortably located in a five room apt. on the ground floor, with Prof. Hugh W. Petersen ((Professor of Chemistry.)) and family in the other apt. They own the house. From the dinette window I can look on the lovely autumn tinted hills that my husband and I loved so well, and I have a large number of very good friends here so the change is to me a real blessing. It seemed as tho there was no opportunity for rest and quiet in Salt Lake, and those were imperative requirements after the strenuous days that have been mine for seven long weeks – it seems like months instead of weeks – Sterling took the heavy responsibility of getting the office vacated but there were many duties which I had to assume.

Well, it all seems so strange and as the bewilderment of the first stage passes and the reality becomes more clear I find my courage not nearly so great as it promised at first; but I am sure that he went in the Lord’s own time and way, and none knows better than I how much cause we have for gratitude. I am grateful for the wonderful evidences of friendship, for the uplift and comfort that have come but Oh! I miss him so very much. He has been such a source of strength thru all the years that I seem helpless when a difficult problem has to be solved. Perhaps I have depended too much on my husband and must seek the Lord more diligently. I shall surely try.

Shall I change the subject? It was a great source of regret that I could not visit with Sister Merrill ((Annie Laura Hyde Merrill, wife of Apostle Joseph Merrill, who accompanied her husband to serve in the European Mission as successor to John A. Widtsoe.)) before she left. Things crowded me to the full limit of my strength, and when we reached Provo I had to go to bed. I have slept much better here so shall feel myself again in a few days. I called to see Aunt Lucy W. ((Lucy Woodruff Smith, wife of George Albert Smith. Lucy was an invalid for many years. Edith Smith Elliott was their daughter.)) for a moment. She was in bed but says she has really begun to improve and goes out occasionally. Edith has a dear little baby.

The Clarks ((J. Reuben Clark and Luacine Savage Clark)) have changed their house a lot, and made a beautiful home of it. Sister Whitney ((Mary Wells Whitney, widow of Apostle Orson F. Whitney)) wrote me a dear letter. She walks around a little now. She is still in Ogden but out of the hospital. Richard [R. Lyman] was still in bed when we called about ten days ago. He got up and went to his temple meeting on Thurs. (two weeks ago) but was worse afterward. He is very cheerful and works while in bed. Both he and Amy [Brown Lyman] are wonderful. I had a little visit with Anna ((Anna Widtsoe Wallace, daughter of John A. Widtsoe and Leah Dunford Widtsoe, whose parents were completing their European mission at this date.)) at the Missionary reunion. She looks well and seems much more settled since she went to live in her grandma’s home. ((Susa Young Gates had recently died. Susa’s husband Jacob F. Gates had gone to live with one of his daughters – partly for the company, but mostly to leave the Gates home available to Anna and her children.)) She says it is ideal for the children. I did not succeed in renting my own apartment before leaving. Only one came to look at it in answer to the “advert” – two others thru friends. Hal ((I have not yet identified “Hal.”)) thinks there will be but little difficulty after it is renovated a bit. Talked with Aunt Gusta ((Augusta Winters Grant, wife of Heber J. Grant)) just before leaving. She too is much better than a few years ago. I plan to go up on Wed. and somewhat frequently until all the business is settled up.

Sister Samuel O. Bennion ((Charlotte Towler Bennion; the Bennions had served in the Central States Mission for an extraordinarily long time.)) called to see me last week and said they have been released to come home altho it may not be given out until Conference …  I have told it to no one here. She seemed to have no idea – I mean she gave no intimation as to who would replace them.

I think it possible I shall listen to the Conference proceedings by Radio this year. Except while we were in Europe or when I was convalescing after childbirth or typhoid I cannot recall missing Conference for over forty years, but I think the tax on my emotions might not be best for my health – I am much better along most lines but I want to keep better.

John looks the picture of health, but not having seen Father’s struggle and the final incidents, I do not think he senses his loss quite as keenly as I do, and yet at times when we two are alone the apparent longing to “Talk things over with Dad” is quite pathetic.

I really must close. …

Love to all. Sincerely,

MAY BOOTH TALMAGE