Ring Around her Heart

By Shirley Thulin

Previous Chapter

Chapter 6

Synopsis: Joan Morgan, superintendent of nurses at Hillcrest Hospital, hopes to keep herself free from emotional involvements in the troubles of her patients. She spends a week end with Kathy, her roommate, at the Kirk family farm and becomes interested in the family, especially in young Joey. One afternoon at the hospital, Joan hears a siren and rushes to the emergency entrance.

Joan was at the door of the emergency entrance almost as soon as the ambulance was. Her heart was pounding frantically. Who is it? she kept asking herself. Oh, why don’t they hurry? It seemed as if it took so very long to open the doors at the back of the vehicle and lower the stretcher to the cement driveway. It’s someone little, she told herself, for she could just see a small head against the whiteness of the sheet. It’s a little boy, she now knew . . . aloud she said, “It’s Joey.”

Joan was still inside the big glass doors of the hospital, and she knew she must stay there. She had no business running out to help them roll the stretcher as she wanted to. She knew she couldn’t go too near until after he was admitted properly, though every part of her wanted to take the child and hold him close. Kathy, she thought. I must get Kathy. And she was about to, when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Kirk pull into the driveway. Mrs. Kirk was crying. Not a heavy cry, but a silent one, and her eyes were swollen. They got out and followed the men and the stretcher through the doors.

“Mrs. Kirk, what happened? Do you feel like telling me?” Joan put her arm around the woman, who just shook her head.

“He fell from a horse,” Mr. Kirk said.

“I’ll go get Kathy.” Joan hurried toward the elevator.

The second floor nurse station was as it usually was, two or three nurses writing, phoning, talking quietly. Joan looked at Kathy. She wished she didn’t have to tell her, but she knew she did. “Kathy, come with me,” she said, and held out her hand.

“All right, just a jiffy ”

“Now, Kathy, please.”

Kathy looked at Joan, and then her face mirrored what she saw in Joan’s eyes. “What’s wrong, Joan?”

“I’ll tell you on the way. . . .”

The other nurses looked and questioned, but Joan felt that Kathy wouldn’t want to be told for all to hear. She felt that the first shock of the news would be better told as the two hurried towards the emergency ward.

“It’s Joey. He’s been hurt.” Joan still held Kathy’s hand, and as she felt the younger nurse’s fingers close tightly, she wished there were something she could do to comfort her.

“What happened? How bad?”

“He fell from a horse. He’s still unconscious.”

They quickly went to the left wing on the bottom floor, Kathy silent, Joan searching for the right words. “Things always seem worse at first,” she said, but when they got to the side of the little figure now on the hospital bed in the emergency room, they both knew he wouldn’t be all right.

“Mama, oh, Mama,” Kathy’s words were just above a whisper. “How did it happen?”

“He fell off ”

“He was trying to keep up with the others. …” Mr. Kirk had his hat in his hand, and kept turning it around by the brim.

“Have they told you anything yet?”

“No.”

“Oh, Mama.”

Joan suddenly realized she didn’t belong there. Little Joey was her friend, but she was not part of his family and had no reason to stand there listening to his family talk and watching for a sign on his little face . . . watching for a flicker of an eyelid. She slipped out into the hall and they didn’t even seem to notice she was gone. For a moment she just stood there and then, as she turned to go, Doctor Desmond was suddenly beside her.

“I just got the call, Joan. They told me … is it someone Kathy knows?”

“It’s little Joey. Oh, he’s bad, Doctor Desmond, very bad.”

The Doctor didn’t say anything more. He hurried into the room and closed the door behind him. Joan walked slowly down the hall towards the small waiting room. She was about to sit down and wait for news, when she saw Doctor Niles come towards her.

“How is he? Is my sister here?”

“Yes, in there.”

“They told me he fell off a horse. . . .”

“Yes, he’s still unconscious.”

Doctor Niles went into the room, also closing the door.

Joan wanted to go to the door and pound on it with her fists. She wanted to be a part of what was going on. She wanted to belong, wished she could feel again the warmth of Joey’s little arms around her neck.

She couldn’t just sit and wait, so she went back to the second floor. The nurses were waiting for Joan when she got there. She tried to sound calm as she told them it was Kathy’s little brother who was hurt. She also wanted to tell them that he was her special little friend, but she didn’t. She went about her routine with a sickness inside her, and each time the elevator door opened, she expected to see them bringing Joey up for surgery. But they didn’t bring him.

The afternoon became evening, and she couldn’t find anything more to busy herself with, so she went back down to the first floor. She had to know.

“Is there any word on the Kirk boy?” she asked of the floor nurse.

“Nothing yet. They have really been working on him.”

“Any order for surgery prep?”

“No.”

“How about X-ray?”

“Not yet.”

Joan bit her lip. This was bad, for she knew that if Doctor Desmond hadn’t ordered X-rays or surgery, the child was losing ground. I feel so helpless, she thought, just like the other times.

When the door finally opened, she hurried towards it. It was Doctor Desmond. “How is he?”

“Very bad, Joan. He’s not going to make it.” He stepped over to the desk and said something to the floor nurse. Joan just stood there. The tears were spilling over, and she didn’t even wipe them away. They were somehow soothing to her. She turned away so the doctor wouldn’t see her cry. It seemed hours before the door opened again and Kathy came out with her mother and father.

“You must get some rest,” she was telling them. “I’ll stay with him.”

Joan watched as Kathy took them to a little room down the hall where Mrs. Kirk could lie down. When Kathy came back, Joan hurried to her.

“Kathy, let me stay with him. You should get some rest, too.”

“I’m all right, Joan. Thanks.”

“Please, Kathy. It might be better for Joey if you left.”

“I’ve told Mom I’d stay.”

Doctor Desmond came over to them. He put his arm around Kathy’s shoulders. “Come on, Kathy, let me take you to your room. I’ll tell you immediately if there’s any change.”

Kathy let him take her by the hand, and they went down the hall together.

Joan stepped into the dim room. The little form on the bed was so still that it frightened her. She sat beside Joey and began to talk softly to him, but he did not stir. And the night passed in unreality.

The nurses who came silently with their tiny flashlights, checking and changing the upside down bottles of clear liquid which dripped through tubes, were like figures in a stage play. The silent figures in white who came to take temperatures and wrap the wide gray cloth around the tiny arm and squeeze the bulb to see if there were any change in the blood pressure, were like characters from a long-ago book. Even Doctor Desmond and Kathy and Mr. and Mrs. Kirk, who hovered near through the night, seemed unreal.

“Joan, you need to go get some rest.” Doctor Desmond had come in again, and she felt his hand on her shoulder, gentle and warm. She felt like reaching up and putting her hand on top of his, but she didn’t. She just stood up and, feeling herself close to tears, hurried out into the hall.

As Joan walked along on her way to her room, David came towards her. “Miss Morgan, how’s Joey? Any change?”

“No, no change.”

“You look tired.”

“I am. Will you report for me? Tell them I’ll be on duty in a couple of hours and to call me if they need me.”

“Right,” he said, and was on his way, but Joan just stood there, feeling the need of something, she knew not what. She dreaded going to her room alone. She longed for someone to care enough to comfort her, and remembered Dean’s hand on her shoulder. He had tried to comfort her, and she had briskly brushed him off by leaving without a word. I didn’t even let him know I appreciated his offer of friendship, she thought.

In two hours Joan was back on duty. She felt better, but her mind was on the first floor with Joey, and she phoned every little while to check. There was no change. She went to see Tom. When she opened his door, she smiled. His shades were opened wide and he had the book on his lap. “Hi. How’s the English?”

“Pretty good, only I sure need lots of help. I wish I had paid more attention in high school.”

Joan laughed. “Famous last words!” She sat beside him. “It really is wonderful to see you like this.”

“It seems real good to me, too.”

“You can be going home pretty soon, now.”

“No.” Tom closed the book and looked out the window. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Well, not for awhile,” Joan agreed. “You will be going to therapy soon, to see just how much feeling will come back to your legs, and if braces. . . .”

“I mean I don’t want to go home, ever.”

Joan looked at the boy. So proud, she thought. Aloud she asked him what he planned to do. “You can’t stay here forever.”

“I know . . . but I can’t be on the farm, either. I don’t know what to do. I only know I can’t go home.”

Tom’s voice wasn’t bitter . . . a little wistful, maybe, Joan thought. At least he wasn’t bitter any more, and she felt that was a good sign.

“Maybe I could find a boarding school or . . . .”

“Tom, your mother needs you.”

“But the kids … I don’t want them to see me.”

“They’ll get used to you. . . .”

“It isn’t only that . . . I’ll see the horses, and I’ll want to ride. I’ll see what needs to be done and I’ll feel so helpless.”

“But you could go into the business management of the farm. Just being there will be a moral help.”

“Yea! Big help. Can’t you see that I’m no good to them? I have to make a new life someplace else, only how can I do that alone? Tell me that, Miss Morgan. How can I do anything alone?”

“Tom, take first things first. And first comes therapy. I’ll come for you at two and we’ll give things a try.”

“Yea . . . we’ll give it a try.”

Tom looked toward the door. Doctor Desmond had entered the room.

“Good morning, Tom.”

Joan stood up, and without thinking, she asked, “How’s Joey?”

“He’s . . . he’s just the same.” His voice said the words, but there was a warning look about his eyes, and suddenly she knew why. She had broken the most elementary rule in the book. She had discussed a patient in front of another patient.

“Joey Kirk?” Tom asked, and Joan went sick all over. She had forgotten that Tom was Kirk’s neighbor.

“Yes. Joey had a little accident. But he will be all right.” Doctor Desmond looked at Joan, then back to Tom. “How’s that studying coming along?”

“Pretty good. What happened to Joey? Is he hurt bad?”

“Yes, Tom. He’s hurt pretty bad. . . .” The doctor’s voice was steady, but Joan could feel his anger. She wished she could disappear into the woodwork.

“Miss Morgan, is he going to be all right? How did he get hurt?”

“He … he fell off a horse,” Joan told him, “but he … ” and she tried to tell him that Joey would be all right, but she couldn’t.

“He’s not going to be all right, is he?” Tom looked from Joan to the doctor and back again. “Is he?” he shouted.

“Tom, you mustn’t get so upset.” Joan got up and went to the boy. She put her hand on his arm.

“But you’ve got to tell me.”

“We don’t know yet,” Doctor Desmond told him. “It will take a little while to find out.”

“I heard the siren last night, and I wondered who it was.” Tom turned to the wall. “Little Joey. He was Richard’s best friend. They were always together. . . .”

“And they will be again,” Doctor Desmond told him.

Tom didn’t answer.

“I’ll be back at two, Tom,” Joan said, and turned to go. Doctor Desmond went with her.

“I’m sorry,” Joan said when they were out in the hall.

“Don’t worry about it . . . what’s done is done.”

“Is Richard Tom’s little brother?”

“Yes.”

They walked a little way before Doctor Desmond said he hoped that knowing about Joey wouldn’t undo all the good she’d done with Tom.

“I don’t think it will,” she told him. “In fact, it might make him want to go home. He might feel the need to be there with his little brother and sisters.”

Doctor Desmond didn’t say anything for a while, then he turned and smiled at her. “I dare not disagree with you anymore, you’ve been so right about Tom so far.”

They stopped walking and faced each other, and for just a moment Joan thought he was going to say something, but the call from the emergency room for Doctor Desmond, sent them both hurrying to the first floor.

(To be continued)