This speech won second place in the public speaking contests of the MIA’s June Conference in 1916. At least I think so. Maybe one of you big strong men with your superior powers of intellect could fact-check me while my trusting faith lightens the gloom of your despondency. (Sorry. I usually post “The View from …” without comment. Don’t know what got into me there.)
The Measure and Destiny of Woman
By Lauretta Nielson
Alpine Stake
To reach the highest perfection of an ideal womanhood is not (as is sometimes understood with the “New woman movement” of today) to imitate man in his character, his habits, and pursuits, whereby she loses all that is essential and best in womanhood; but, on the contrary, to reach the highest ideal of womanhood, she must learn her true nature, duties and privileges, and develop within the place and sphere that God and nature have pointed out for her. Therefore, let us treat this subject under the following headings:
1. Woman’s place, duties and privileges.
2. Woman’s power for good in the home, in the church, and in the world.
God said in the beginning, “It is not good for man to be alone,” so he created the woman as a helpmeet for him. It has been said: “that she was not made out of his head to surpass him; nor from his feet, to be trampled on; but from his side, that she might be equal to him, and near his heart to be dear to him.” So the woman was intended to be equal with man in her own sphere, not to take the place of the man, but to be a helpmate unto him.
Paul said: “As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives lie to their own husbands.” And he adds: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it.” The great object of marriage is to provide, in the best and happiest manner, for the increase and training of the human race, and no mortal can improve this condition as laid down by the Creator in scripture and nature. A woman will reach her greatest achievement and happiness by following out this divine plan: to acknowledge the man as the head of the family, and she take her place as helpmate unto him.
Washington Irving has commented on this relation of woman to man. He says: “As the vine which has long twined its graceful foliage about the oak, and been lifted by it into sunshine, will, when the hardy plant is rifted by the thunder-bolt, cling round it with its caressing tendrils and bind up its shattered boughs; so is it beautifully ordained by Providence, that woman, who is the mere dependent and ornament of man in his happier hours, should be his stay and solace when smitten with sudden calamity; winding herself into the rugged recesses of his nature, tenderly supporting the drooping head, and binding up the broken heart.”
Man, as a rule, is superior to woman in the power of the intellect, but it is equally true that woman is superior to man, in the warmth, the purity, and the constancy of the affections. Which is the more important of the two? Which exercises the greatest influence on happiness: wisdom or love? The whole product of a man’s mighty toil would avail nothing to the real happiness of life, if we lacked the treasure of the affections which it is the province of woman to supply. Her gentle hand can smooth the brow of care. Her smile can scatter the clouds of disappointment. Her words of hopeful confidence can cheer the weary spirit, and strengthen the fainting heart. Her patient sweetness can calm the chafed temper. Her trusting faith can lighten the gloom of despondency. And thus it is that the sovereign power of the masculine intellect, comes gladly to the refuge of domestic love and lays its head upon the woman’s heart, as its best source of earthly joy and consolation.
Life is made up of little things, and the cheer and gracious thoughts — that show themselves in the little things of the daily life of the wife and mother, are powerful and sweet influences. She studies the tastes of others and tries to satisfy them. She knows their sacred trials and brings them hope and courage. Her noble and tender thoughts, her delicate and caressing ways, have awakened in more than one life, an ideal, hitherto lacking. Others have performed deeds of heroism, but she has given joy and happiness.
As the wife is the ministering angel of a man’s life, there is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which only the trials of this world will reveal. And every mother has laid her life on the altar to bring a new soul into the world. There is no word like Mother. When it is pronounced in any home, it tells us there is a brightness there. It speaks of sweetness, and you think an angel is in your midst, uplifting your soul to that which is purer, sweeter, and higher in life.
In the Church of Christ, woman is partaker of the powers, gifts and blessings not only of the gospel, but of the Holy Priesthood through her husband. The real strength of her religious principles is rather found in the sweetness of her deportment, the good sense and discretion of her discourse, and in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which, in the sight of God, is of great price.
Woman is above all an educator, in the home as well as in the school and Church. In song and music, in art and poetry, a woman’s worth is measured not only by natural talents, but by the depths and greatness of her heart and soul. In her teachings she gives herself up completely and wholly to her work, and her message is always its noblest, which makes woman’s teaching a success.
Every one does not possess in the same degree the wonderful power of influencing others, but who can measure the all-embracing influence of woman? She touches and uplifts, she inspires, she is in constant touch with the divine. And without the brightness and sweetness of her life, what would this world be? No civilization could be built without the help of woman.
For long ages woman was the drudge or ornament of a man s home. But as the world advanced and divine reason wrested the scepter from brute force, woman began to assume her proper place in the world’s economy. The true woman has always been a power for good in the world. A woman’s love can transform a hut into heaven and fill it with supernal sunshine. Almost all superior men are born from superior mothers. On the other hand, great men’s sons seldom arise above the plane of the mother. Character is molded at the mother’s knee, and, in the light of her loving eyes, is born that ambition which buoys a man up in the life of troubles, and drives him through its dangers and difficulties, unto the shining goal.
The nineteenth century marks a culmination of an era of human triumphs and brilliant victories over ignorance and prejudice. But its crown of imperishable glory is the recognition that woman was created to be man’s companion and co-laborer, his joint sovereign of the earth instead of his slave.
Fronting the dawn or a grander day her hand and brain have been unfettered, and the dark and dreary centuries that lie behind her, are like a hideous dream. The wife and the mother, raised by God’s great mercy to royalty — made queen of the home, and thereby absolute empress of the great round earth — is to be the dynamic force of a ewer and a grander civilization. The womanly woman, self-poised as a star, pure as the polar snow, fit companion for the true nobleman of nature, is to be the power that will lead humanity, step by step, ever onward and upward until our cruel age of iron is transformed into an age of gold, in which selfishness will be considered the worst of crimes, and love, the all-powerful law. Such is the destiny of woman, and unto her loving hands is committed the future destiny of the race, and to her true heart, the moral salvation of the world.
Whoa. Second place indeed.
Since I’m not a scholar, I don’t bandy about scholarly terms like “gender essentialism” with abandon. But in this case I’ll make an exception. That’s all I have time for today. Cheers!
P.S. In her defense I will observe that she was young when she wrote this. I imagine she went on to become a writer of fantasy fiction, or some superior’s helpmeet.
I have put my so-called superior intellect to work, and it still took me three attempts to read this thing all the way through. Fortunately my computer stand is on wheels, so I was able to move it back and forth, as I was shaking my head through most of it. I’m in my 60’s and considered far too conservative to ever be thought of as much of a Modern, but I even had a hard time finishing this.
Man is superior in intellect? Oh, I could go off on that one, and I’m a man! Does anyone in their right mind even consider it possible that Heavenly Father’s plan includes making someone with a ‘lesser’ intellect “primarily responsible for the nurture of their children”? I would think we could all figure that one out!
A man and woman who are truly in tune with each other can certainly have the positive affect that each other needs and even help strengthen and sustain each other through life, but certainly not with this level of sticky, bubble gum and soda pop sugary sweetness. I much prefer the intellectually-strong and level-headed woman I married to the one described in this post.
As far as a wife being an ornament upon the man . . . I’d like to know where that even comes from! I did a quick scripture search, and the only passages that put a woman in the same thought as an “ornament” are like this one: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they (the instruction and the law) shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” (Proverbs 1:8–9) So the mother isn’t an ornament, but her law that the child has faithfully kept is like a crown upon that child. Not a word about a woman being an ornament in the scriptures; not even for her husband. The Virtuous Woman in Psalms 131 isn’t even an ornament. I did a search of General Conference addresses and found one that talked about a young woman being an ornament to “her father’s house” (not to her father) and to the community. But that’s it.
Sorry for such a long rant.
These are two much appreciated responses to an, um, awkward artifact of the past — one that was no doubt written and delivered with the best of intentions, reflecting not only the writer’s ideas but the opinions of some sizable segment of her society.
I’m about ready to start soliciting some guest posts (not yet — think about it, but don’t submit yet) on the role of women in the Church, or the views of women that would ideally reflect your ideas of what those roles ought to be.
That’s a risk. I’m not about to open Keepa to advocate roles or views that, in my understanding, are contrary to doctrine. I still need to work out how to invite thoughtful responses without burning the house down. I’ll start by restricting guest posts to those who have been more or less regular participants at Keepa.
That “vine around the oak tree” image was hugely popular with Victorians. Simultaneously clinging and supportive.
And, what if I don’t want to brighten the gloom all the time??