From the Juvenile Instructor, 1 July 1887 –
Sitting Up Late
A young man gave a reason for discontinuing his visits to a certain smart young lady that she was too sarcastic; he was spending the evening with her, and he noticed that she seemed to be absent-minded, or tired, or something. About two o’clock in the morning he said she started up suddenly in alarm, and exclaimed: “My, what was that?” He said he didn’t hear anything, and asked her what it sounded like, and she said she thought may be it was the milkman coming with the milk. He said that was too sarcastic, and he would never go to see her again.
Well, probably he could not suit her better than by staying away. There is no girl who is well, and wants to keep so, that wants to sit up all night with any ordinary young man. She has got to have some sleep or she is not worth the powder to blow her up. She can get all the information that he has to impart in six or seven hours, and every hour he stays after that is a dead loss.
Some young fellows never know enough to go. They speak of it being time to go about ten o’clock, and the girl, to be polite, says: “Oh, don’t hurry away; it is early yet,” and the idiot thinks she means it, and settles himself for a few hours more. No girl wants to seem impolite, so she suppresses her yawns while she silently prays for relief; and when the stayer finally goes she is devoutly thankful.
A girl might to have the courage to tell a young man, when he has remained long enough, that it is time for him to retire, and if he gets angry at her frankness, give him his dismissal as well.
Including “not worth the powder to blow her up” and “the idiot thinks she means it” this piece is full of straight talk–which unfortunately doesn’t make it into enough of our writing today!
I am curious, though. Was this an unsigned editorial? A letter to the editor? Part of the lesson plan for a Sunday School class for teenagers?
Yeah, that line, “the idiot thinks she means it” made me smile. What a fun response!
It was just an article, no particular classification, just printed on the page (bottom right corner) as a standalone article.
Great stuff!
I’m having trouble imagining any young man “imparting information” to a bored young lady from ten until two! I mean, I can imagine a lot of things a couple might be doing when they stay up late together. Some of the activities on my imagined list are even fairly chaste — but “he presents an informational seminar while she props her eyelids open” is simply not on the list at all!
I agree with Mark, and the line “well probably he could not suit her better than by staying away.” This piece made my day.
I doubt the young man would care to call on the writer of this article either, as he/she shares a fault with the young lady he was keeping awake all night.