“Let that man who intends to become a husband, seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and learn to govern himself, according to the law of God; for he that cannot govern himself cannot govern others. Let him dedicate his property, his talents, his time, and even his life to the service of God, holding all things at His disposal, to do with the same, according as he shall direct through the counsel that he has ordained. In selecting a companion, let him look not wholly at the beauty of the countenance, or the splendor of the apparel, or the great fortune, or the artful smiles, or the affected modesty of females; for all these, without the genuine virtues are like the dew-drops which glitter for a moment n the sun and dazzle the eye, but soon vanish away. But let him look for a kind, amiable disposition; for unaffected modesty; for industrious habits; for sterling virtue; for honesty, integrity, and truthfulness; for cleanliness in person, in apparel, in cooking, and in every kind of domestic labor; for cheerfulness, patience, and stability of character; and above all, for genuine religion to control and govern her every thought and deed.

“You should remember that harsh expressions against your wife, used in the hearing of others, will more deeply wound her feelings than if she alone heard them. Reproofs that are timely and otherwise good, may lose their good effect by being administered in the wrong spirit; indeed, they will most probably increase the evils which they are intended to remedy. Do not find fault with every trifling error that you may see, for this will discourage your family, and they will begin to think that it is impossible to please you; and, after a while, they will become indifferent as to whether they please you or not. How unhappy and extremely wretched is that family where nothing pleases – where scolding has become almost as natural as breathing.”

–Orson Pratt, 1853 (in The Seer)