I don’t remember his name. Maybe one of these days I’ll go to the Church History Library and check the historical reports for the Kansas City 3rd Ward and find out who was serving as bishop in 1974.
But while I’ve forgotten his name, I haven’t forgotten the youth fireside he hosted at his home one Sunday evening, and I haven’t forgotten its theme. That theme has come back to me so many times in the past 40 years that I’m absolutely certain I recall the precise wording.
“Never make a choice in life that leaves you waiting outside the House of God.”
It was the perfect formulation for me:
“The House of God” was tangible: I could visualize it and understood that there were specific expectations for entering the temple. Yet it was also symbolic and stood for all commandments and blessings and hopes and promises associated with the gospel.
“Waiting outside” was also both specific and symbolic: What teenager doesn’t understand being “outside” while desperately wanting to belong? That longing for good things deferred extended beyond the walls of the temple and affected all goals and passions and priorities.
“Make a choice” gave me great power over my own destiny: I was an agent, making choices that would lead me inside, or leave me waiting in the cold and dark.
“Never make a choice in life that leaves you waiting outside the House of God.”
Turning in a temple recommend to make a grand gesture of political protest would leave me literally outside the House of God, without the means of entering.
Labeling apostles of Jesus Christ as bigots, claiming they are out of touch, saying they are dishonest, pitting my own wisdom and opinion and judgment against theirs, declaring boldly that I am right and they are wrong, that they are sacrificing our children to the God they have created in their own twisted and homophobic image would leave me outside of the Restoration. There is no point in having a prophet if I accept his leadership only when he is following me.
Misrepresenting the words and impugning the motives of Church leaders, assuring already vulnerable brothers and sisters that the shepherd is leading the flock to destruction, that pointing the way to safety is punishment rather than concern for their eternal welfare, would not only leave me waiting outside but could make me complicit in others’ decisions to accompany me.
We’ve been wrestling with the new policy concerning the children of same sex couples for more than two months now. I’ve listened more than I’ve spoken. I’ve tried to put myself, with compassion, in the shoes of others. I’ve thought, and considered, and prayed, and consulted. I’ve heard Church leaders speak, sometimes publicly and sometimes privately, and I’ve contrasted their voices with those of others.
I will not condemn President Monson, or President Nelson, or any other prophet or apostle, for leading, for testifying, for doing the very thing they have been called to do. I will continue to try to understand. I will not make any choice in this matter that leaves me waiting outside the House of God.
Well put, Ardis. Amen.
Yes.
Love the imagery…outside is the one place no true Saint wants to be.
Very well put, thanks Ardis!
Powerful testimony.
Powerfully and clearly written, Ardis.
Thank you for a sane voice in a crazy world.
You have a way with words. As always. Thanks.
Thank you for your testimony and reminder.
In a similar vein, in high school, I missed attending a temple dedication in person because of extreme weather. It was such a gut-wrenching experience that I promised myself that if I were ever kept out of the temple in the future, it wouldn’t be my fault.
I agree.
Great piece, as usual, and I love your phrase.
My mission president, John Eagar, once said in response to a question at a zone conference about (local) church leaders giving offense, “I made a decision many years ago I would not let another person keep me out of the Kingdom of Heaven.” I’ve thought of that often over the decades when I have seen fellow Saints remove themselves from fellowship, activity, or even membership over various issues.
66 ¶From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.
67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.
Amen.
I knew one fellow who was a bishop in the KC area in 1974. Not sure if it would be the same person. Great family, though.
Well said and I completely agree. Thank you. I stand with the Lord and the Prophet. Who’s on the Lord’s side, Who? I am.
I think how we speak of prophets and apostles and the consideration we have for their teachings is important.
But to be clear, I do not think it is inconsistent with “standing with the Lord” or being “on the Lord’s side” to have questions, and struggle, and suffer, and, for a time, at least, to doubt and grieve and go through any other emotion, when someone is seeking to understand. Sometimes opposition is a blind, reactionary response — but then, so can obedience and triumphalism be a blind, reactionary response.
“To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know … to others it is given to believe on their words …” Whichever gift you or I have, we need compassion for those whose gifts are different.
Very good post! Thank you.
“There is no point in having a prophet if I accept his leadership only when he is following me.”
This is brilliant. Thank you for your post.
Ardis, this is wonderful. I totally agree. I realize that some things are hard to accept, but we have to remember that God is in charge, and He has His reasons. “Be still and know that I am God.”
“There is no point in having a prophet if I accept his leadership only when he is following me.”
Eloquently put.
I think it was Bishop Allred, KC 3rd Ward, 1974
May I be honest and frank? I’m jealous of you and the others who have received answers and confirmation of this policy and seem to have unwavering conviction that our prophet and apostles are doing God’s will. It’s so much more complicated for me. I voiced the almost same exact sentence recently, “what’s the point of having a prophet if I don’t believe he’s inspired?” But it was meant as an honest question because I have not received my own confirmation of this policy, and many other policies and even doctrines (polygamy, for example) in our history. So I find myself stating the same thing, though from a place of uncertainty, not sure what it means for me and my faith and future in the church, and very importantly, what to teach my children. Ugh. This is so hard.
“I think how we speak of prophets and apostles and the consideration we have for their teachings is important.”
Amen — and thank your for this post, Ardis — and the sentence above.