Community has always been more important than the individual in Mormonism. From the nineteenth century to the present Mormons have bound themselves together in biological and adopted families, sealed themselves across time and space to their kindred dead, and replicated the familial structure on a congregational level with “ward families.” As Sam Brown puts it in his wonderful new book, First Principles, “our relationships matter as the fundamental building blocks of the cosmos” (p. 104).

It is within this context that I was deeply saddened this week with news of a dear “sister’s” diagnosis with terminal cancer. My wife and I both cried as we reflected on the way in which this particular bright light in our ward cosmos has impacted our lives over the past nine years. I know similar stories play out in Mormon congregations across the globe. For me, these relationships are the best part of my life as a Mormon.

“Sister P’s” diagnosis gave me good reason to reflect on my relationship with her and to type my thoughts in a letter. I share it here in the hope that Sister P’s light and legacy might spread a bit of cheer this holiday season and beyond.

4 December 2014

Dear Sister P,

I am writing to tell you something that I probably should have mentioned to you years ago, but I selfishly kept it a secret. You see, when I was serving as a Sunday School teacher in the Gospel Doctrine class, I think someone covertly hacked your e-mail account and sent me messages from that account every time I taught a lesson. The messages were always kind, sweet, and buoyed my spirits. I came to cherish those messages and looked forward to the secret notes. They always arrived from your e-mail account, but were signed from “anon.” I know I should have told you that someone was using your e-mail address to spread good cheer, but I couldn’t bring myself to alert you to the imposter, mostly because I didn’t want to frighten her away. I received over thirty messages from my dear friend “anon” and each one brought a smile to my face and made my step a little lighter.

The messages were sometimes short, like the one on August 30, 2010: “Marvelous as usual”; or the one on September 13, 2010, with a subject line, “Wondrous One.” It read:

Have I ever told you what a FEAST it is to come to your Sunday Class!!!!
You make a difficult lesson make sense. THANK YOU.
WE LOVE YOU TO BITS!
anon. 🙂

On November 14, I received a simple “Two Thumbs Up!” and on December 12 an e-mail with the subject line, “I am HIGH on our G.D. Professor.”

With messages and subject lines like that, I hope you can understand my reluctance to tell you that “anon” was using your e-mail account for purely uplifting purposes. The e-mails simply meant too much to me to risk jeopardizing them.

It was a sad day when a note with the subject line “Boooooo Hoooooo” arrived after my release from Sunday School. In response, I sent “anon” the following message:

Dear Anon., Even though I’m now released, you have to promise to keep sending me e-mails like this. You make my day and give me reason to smile. Thank you so much for your kind words. You make all of my fretting over those lessons worthwhile. Thanks for being such an open minded and open hearted student.

So now that you know about “anon,” your e-mail hacker, I hope you won’t be upset with her, whoever she is. I picture her to be a lot like you, Sister P, brave and beautiful. I picture her staring into the eternities with dignity and poise. She made my years as a Sunday School teacher a joy and she taught me the power of kindness. She has a special gift for brightening hearts and I suspect she brightens a room when she walks in, just like you.

I suppose that “anon” is thinking about deeper things these days, maybe pondering the universe and her place within it. Perhaps she is contemplating her legacy and her relationship with friends, family, and God. I think those questions confront us all at one time or another. I am comfortable letting Jesus be the judge and I presume that “anon” is too. Even though I never did get to know “anon” in all of her complexities, the glimpses I did receive into her soul convince me that Jesus will certainly know her when he greets her, mostly because, like Him, she “went about doing good.

Thanks, Sister P, for letting me confess my secret to you. You will always have a joyful place in my heart.

With love,

Paul Reeve