I ran across the autobiography of Annie Berry Chesnut Day more than 15 years ago, when I was researching the families of Piute County, Utah. I’ve never talked about it with anyone, and hope that many of you will feel free to comment on one aspect or another of her story.

It’s a little longer than the average post, and it will be difficult to read because I decided to post it as she wrote it, with the barest minimum of added punctuation. I predict that if you can struggle through the first screen, you’ll be hooked and want to know what happens next.

In discussion, please remember blog guidelines: Keepa is a community of believing members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and friends who are willing to respect our beliefs, including how we speak about our church and its leaders and doctrines. If you’re not a regular Keepa commenter, please moderate yourself … or I will.

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Circleville, piute Co. utah. Well after 34 years, I have bin impresed by my feelings to try and write up a part of my life as neer as I can remember it and a nother thing I am not well and by taking up part of my time in writing may help me to regain my strength again. Annie E. Berrie

I was born August 21, 1865 in Salt Lake city, Salt lake Co, utah and the morning I was born my Mother raised up to see the snow so hevy that the trees was waighted to the ground. I was the Daughter of John Francis Berry and Elizabeth Cherington. my parents both came from England my Father being the son of Frances Berry and Mother the Daughter of John and Sarah Cherington. My Father and Mother moved to payson, utah Co where my sister Clara was born 2 years and 2 weeks after I was born and my Father started out to California with the wife he had Married when I was a baby and Mother soon got Married to a Man by the name of Jothen Emerson Goldin wich was a verry kind Father to me while he lived. …

In May 1876 Ma Moved to Mr Henery Chesnuts where we was treated pretty good to what we had bin. He had lost his wife just befour Ma lost her Husband and had a famely of little children and in July they went to Salt lake city and got Married. …

And that winter I spent most of the time siting by Mr H. C. watching him weave cloth. he would say you will be my little wife wont you when you get older. I would say no you bet I wont Marrie a old man, and get of the bench …

[In 1879, Annie went to Scipio, Utah, to work.] I was then a little passed 14 teen. well I was working and contented with my home when I got a letter from ma telling me to send 25 yards of bleach [fabric] which I did and wondering what she could do with so much. well it was to make temple clothes for me her and the scotch woman and I dreamed Ma was basting a blue dress on me. the lady I was working for said that is a sine. your Mother is going to get you a husband and said Ile bet it is your step Father.

Well in Dec I got a nother letter from Ma saying I must come rite home. well I never got the letter for two weeks after it was wrote and they got verry mad befour I got home. although I went next day I got a terebel scolding.

Well they had my recommend to go to the temple, the cover on and every[body] in the wagon to go to the St george temple. I said as ma told me to put my clothes in, what do you want me to go for. who will tend the children. Ma said Aunt Alace. as I had bin the one to stay with them befour so I just thought what a nice ride. I had never bin out of the town since we moved there.

and we all started next morning and O such talk. Mr. H. C. and this scot ch woman did do. she was his first wifes sister. her name was grace knox from scotland, he had promist to marrie her but married my Ma first. so we went and they was saying I wish I never had to marrie you and the other would wish they never had to marrie till I began to wonder what they was going to do with me. so as we was going to feed the teem I always helped pas, as I called him. I said pa what are you going to take me to the temple for. he was mad at the woman and said in a cross way, I am going to Marrie you of corse if I can.

Well I just felt horri[fi]ed and thought but never dare say, is that the way wiman gets Married. cant a woman say who she wants. well I went a long listning to them and never thinking abought my self much. I always done as I was told. never spok back

well we got there thirsday night went to the temple Friday morning. I got my endowments. went through all the rooms to the vail. there we was stopped. some did not want to see us get Married and Ma said is it rite for a man to Marrie a woman and her Daughter. Mr McCalester said well I have a mother and 2 Daughters sealed to me.

but our recommends had to go to Salt lake to John Taylor. We had to waight there one week. I had to hurd horses, our teem for we never had means to buy food. The sun was so hot I thought I never would want to live in St Georges

and in a week Mr H. C. come in a hurry for me to get the horses up and go to the temple. I did without saying a word and while in there I was looking at the prety rooms and I remember of kneeling on the Alter and a man talking. Mr H.C. said yes, and after they said to me Say yes, I wispered yes, not noing what I was saying, and then we went back. stayed all night in St george. we started home and as we traveled north it got muddy so I and Mr H. C. got out and walked. he put his arm across my sholders and said O bless my little wife. I was just struck for a minit then said why, be I your wife? He said yes, but I said, well I never new that. he said didnt you here that man Marrie us. I said no. He said don’t tell a sole or we will half to be put in prison for living in poligmey and I did feel so bad I wondered if all girls got married that way and would liked to run a way …

The next year I went out in Nevada Cherrie creek twice with him. The bishop would not let us go till he told him I was his wife. when they got my recommend they said I was just going to get my endowments or may be I would not of bin Married. …

In November [1882] we moved over there [Fremont Valley] a new home, nothing to live on to speek of. I was so sick to my stomach. I asked ma one morning if I could have an egg for my breakfist. she said no your no better to have an egg than the rest of the children. so I had to go crying. I never said a word. Sometimes I would ask for a cup of tea but no they did not want me to drink it or there might not be enough for them.

Well then in five weeks befour my oldest girl was born I asked Mr H.C. if he would get me some cloth to make some long dresses as him and ma had the money that was in the famely when I worked. It all went in the famely as I was not able to get out. I had none and no clothes for baby. so they went 4 miles to the store baught things for nearly every one and me a pettecoat or under scirt. I never had one befour baughten so I liked it but no clothes for baby. I cryed and said ma why dident you get a little lite calico for 3 or 4 dresses. she said well we have enough to buy for, you had aught to no better than to have children. Still she had a baby nursing. Said you had aught to waight till I was done having children.

I had waighted nearly 3 years. Well I said to Mr H.C. can I take the teem. he said yes so I went down tuck my new under scirt give it back for 25 cts worth of Calico. made 3 dresses for baby out of it and the 4 of April 1883 I gave birth to a Daughter.

I felt prety sick for a week but had to work. it being spring it was time to plant garden which I had to do or most of it. I planted 2 seamless sacks full of small potatoes and 2 milk pans of early rose sets and raised 135 one hundred and thirty five bushell. I learned to plow with the sulkey that spring. Well I wore out my shoes and was bear footed. I was a stranger there but I put on Mas over shoes went to the store and they trusted me for a pear of shoes. I soon got work and earned all my clothes and baby clothes. I had always done it but never thought I would half to earn every thing when I had a baby.

When she was 3 weeks old I went to sunday school and meeting. got her Blessed. in her Blessing she was to live till the Savior come, by Bishop H. Blackburn.

That fall I went to the field for a load of grain and I was coming back with each load . all day the girls would bring the baby up the road a ways. I would take her, let her nurse till I got to the stack yard, give her back and stack the grain. go for more. poor thing cryed till she hurt.

I went up in the mountains after pools [poles]. one day I cut 75 poles and pealed them.

Well the next spring I had to do most all the plowing all the harrowing laying off, and just had to wean her so she would not cry after me so much. …

Mr H.C. was verry julic [jealous] of me, never wanted me a way from the house. but I and Augusta Taylor was the same age, she was only 2 days older but smaller. we just had such times. I could not enjoy my self out on a farm all the time with ma and the old man. …

Mr. H.C. for bid me ever going there to her place again. said I will kill you if you do.

And one day I got so lone some. Clara was up to her neighbors playing with them so I coxed him to let me go where Clara was. and when I got there they both was to Augustas a little farther so I went. Well I did have fun, us four girls and John till afternoon when John, Augustas husband, had to go to the sheep hurd for 3 days and she wanted me to stay with her. I told her he said he would kill me but she dident think he would, so I said Clara you go tell pa I am going to stay with her, and for Clara to put a clean apron on my baby and send her up. well he soon sent his girl after me. well I explaned it to her noing I had nothing to do at home but he would not stand it. here he come, I thought to do as he had said but no, he just wanted me home. told John he was julice of him. John told him he never need be and it was so, for John never did try to get me to leave when others did. Well I come neer leaving him that night …

Well I tryed to leave him, the bishop and teachers told me to, but he would make such threts I did not no what to do so I wrote a letter to president John Taylor through the bishop asking what to do. he just said you will half to get a bill through the proper chanel so I dident no what to do and time passed. …

well I had bin praying earnst to the lord to no what to do. I always felt bad over being married the way I was and life kept geting more misurable so I had faith in my Father in heaven. I said if it is rite for me to live with Mr H.C. I would love him. if not would the way be opend so I could leave him. so one day as I was at Augusta taylors she said read such a chapter in the bible. you will find out you are doing wrong by living with that man. I said why I have read that chapter meny times. but I looked and there it was a man that married a wife and her mother should be burned [Leviticus 20:14] so I thought what will I do. but I thought sleep alone, so I did. and in the time of 4 months he had some terebel spells as men have. one day he began to swair at the way the house looked. it was on Saturday morning. the fireplace needed cleaning. I had bin sick with the quinzay. my sister lucy was with me and my baby 2 weeks old so you see I never had much strength aney way. well I tryed to reason with him till I got to crying and I went out. it was snowing and blowing cold in Nov. and he tryed to get me in. I would not. I felt so bad he tuck hold of me. I puled from him and sat down.

Well after a while his brother come and talked kind and preswaded me to go in. when I got in sister was crying. Mr H.C. said well wher do you want to go. I thought for a minit and said I will go aney where. I can go to John Taylors till I can get farther. he said with an oth no you wont. well I will go down to Riddles where ma is or aney where and was going to go when he put his arms around me and kissed and beged of me to stay. well I was over powered again but I made up my mind I would just do my work wich was to earn a living carding and spining doing washings for others and earning me and my 3 childrens clothes and shoes.

and when night come he said Annie it is time to milk. I said well do it. I have done my work. he did. and then the pigs was to feed. I said I would not. well next day he said it is time to milk. I said go do it. he said I will turn the damed cows and calves to gether be four I will milk. I said then you will half to get some thing to eat with your bread and the little ones. well he done the milking after that while I stayed with him. but in about a week he wanted me to clean the stable. I said no. I have always done it for you now I have 3 little ones to do for I wont. he just swor and a nother day he said you will half to cleen the pig pen. Ill be damed if I will I said. I wont eather and o what a fuss. the chicken coop had to be cleaned and the same words, Annie you will half to.

He was prety kind trying every night to get me to sleep with hmi but no I would not give up my thoughts or promptings.

Still the worst come. the privey had to be cleened and I would not do that and had to. Ma had moved down town with her famely to go to school and only me my 3 little ones and Mr H.C. and his brother. well I done less crying in that 4 monthes than I had done in 8 years for I was prepared to meet aney thing. …

I had many a hard lick and trubel I am not writing.

and one morning at 5 oclock Mr H.C. said get up and get breakfast. I said hurry no mans donkey, you might have a mule of your own some day. He said I never will have as damed stuborn mule as you.

Little did I think that would be my last slepe in that house or I would leave him that day, but I got up, got ready everything as usual, but he never done all his work. said I am going to take you down to your Mothers and see if she cant make you let me sleep with you. I’ll see if I have to be treated this way

well he got the teem reddy, said come on … so I put my 3 babies on some cleen straw in the back of the wagon, got in, put one girls head on one knee, the other on the other and baby boy in my armes. he said come on the seat. I said no. well the way he drove across the river.

Town was one mile from the ranch so as we was riding a long half way betwin the to places I heard a voice say, you are away from Mr Chesnut just as plan as I ever heard aney thing. I looked around. I thought some one was neer me but I could not see aney one, and in a second a nother voice said thats a warning for you, now take it. I never can for get the good feeling it left. it was on the morning of March 16, 1887.

We got down town. ma come out smiled and said why what is the matter. what did you come down today for. it was wensday and we generly come on Sunday morning to Sunday school. but Mr H.C. said O we have had a hell of a row and come down to see if you could settle it. Ma said O that is just like you. He said O it is her, dam her. This time ma said O yes, you always lay it to some one.

So we went in the house and he said to his girl and My sister – the 2 girls was 13 years old – you girls go out while we talk. Ma said no, they half to do the work so they can go to school. he could not waight. he told me to come out a minit. she did. I sat kniting and wondring what I should do.

well the children went to school and he began telling ma, she wont let me sleep with her and I am geting damed tired of it. cant you make her treat me like a wife. Ma said well no, you [had] no buisness living with her the age you are, and cut of the church, and with me eather. you never have treated her rite. She should aught to have bin let a lone and Marrie a man of her age, and you had aught to go and let us both alone. so he said all rite. ma said, well go put in the wheet first, then you can take the teem and leave us the farm. they agreed.

I never spoke till he said come on, Annie lets go home. I said no. he said for god sake are you going to leave me. I said yes. he said, well come and coock for me while I put in the wheet. I said no. ma said go Annie, it will only take 2 weeks. I said ma don’t never advise me a gain. look what I have sufferd now and always will, for you taking me down to the temple and me doing as you have said all my life. now ma you can go your way. I will not bother you. and pleas let me go my way. she said o it wont hurt you to do the coocking 2 weeks. I said no, I don’t want to.

he said well I will take your children, the girls now and the boy when he is old enough. I said you cant get them neather by the church law or outside law, for you have never treated me rite, don’t support me or them. Every rag we have on I have earned, and even to there shoes. not one rag have you got that we weare. I even worked hard for what we eat and our beding. so he steped to the door. I was crying. ma said well, will you finish the girls dresses so they can go to the dance this after noon. I said yes, and he began to call Melvina.

I walked out with my baby and started down the road to Agusta talors not noing where my girls was, but here Elizie was playing in the brush and not quite 2 years old, and Melvina come runing from the neighbors, tuck hold of my dress, not quite 4 years old. I got to Augustas, told her of my trubel. she said he cant take them from you in my house. I will scald him first

so him and Ma seprated to, but ma went to coock for him the 2 weeks. He did teas me to go but I just told him, you have tuck me a way now I am going to stay a way. I was afraid he would come down there [Augusta Taylor’s] but he never …

I was scard. he had alway said he would kill me if I left him but he come coxing me back to him. He would try to get me to kiss him. I would not. then he would get behind me and kiss me and cox me but I would not lissten.

The next day the teachers come. I was cleening the door yard. they said I come to see your Mother, where is she. I told them she was up on the ranch. they said well we want to see you aney way. it was all the same. We have come to tell you you will half to leave that man or get cut of the church. I said thank the lord. I left him yesterday. they was shure glad and talked quite a while. I felt just like I had got out of a terebel muss or stinking dirty place. I realey felt cleen and brighter and better. …

Ma come down and sent out for our divorses. I had nothing to say in geting them. they was a month in geting back from salt lake. … the devorses come. my couson tuck me up 8 miles where Mr H.C. lived to get him to sine my Devorse. Ma and him had coxed me to not sine mine. Meny times Mr H.C. use to make the drive every other day coxing me to come back and ofering every indusement and thretning meny things, so when I went up there they hated to go and sine it. I had some talking to do. at last I said, if you don’t I will go where you will never here or see me again. at that he said all rite. I will be down to morrow at 10 oclock. he did, and tryed hard again to get me not to sine it.

Ma said I will sine mine if you wont. I said O it is to late and pleas don’t advise me aney more. you can do as you pleas, and let me do the same. She said, well I wont sine my devorse if you do. I said O ma, if you had just said live single till I was 15 I never would of had this to stand, turned out with out a thing with 3 little ones. but I got my devorse and cousin brought me back to Freemount.