Lesson 23: “The Lord Be Between Thee and Me For Ever”

1 Samuel 18-24

Purpose: To encourage class members to be true to their friends, as Jonathan and David were, and avoid being consumed by jealousy and hatred, as Saul was.

Scripture Discussion and Application

1. Jonathan and David make a covenant of friendship. Saul becomes jealous of David and tries to kill him.
2. Saul fails in three more attempts to take David’s life.
3. David and Jonathan renew their covenant of friendship, and Jonathan saves David’s life.
4. Saul is consumed by hatred for David. David spares Saul’s life.

Introduction

Following the opening prayer, step forward and greet the class, with arms extended in welcome. Recite from memory.

Art thou a brother or [a sister]? I salute you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, in token or remembrance of the everlasting covenant, in which covenant I receive you to fellowship, in a determination that is fixed, immovable, and unchangeable, to be your friend and [sister] through the grace of God in the bonds of love, to walk in all the commandments of God blameless, in thanksgiving, forever and ever. Amen.

What is your first reaction to being greeted this way?

Do you recognize these words? Where do they come from? (Doctrine and Covenants 88:133, modified very slightly to recognize the presence of women – These are the words given by revelation by which a teacher in the School of the Prophets at Kirtland was instructed to say as members entered the school.)

Let’s turn to Doctrine and Covenants 88:133 to take a closer look at the words of this greeting. (Repeat the verse once class members have had a moment to turn to it.)

The verse opens by asking if someone is a brother. What other word, besides brother, does the speaker call the person he is greeting? (Friend)

When we speak of friends in ordinary conversation – I am Jane’s best friend; my friend John called me last night – what do you usually mean by calling someone your friend?

Looking again at the words of the greeting in the Doctrine and Covenants, what other qualities seem to be a part of friendship in a gospel sense?

In a friendship in this sense, are you and your friend the only parties to the friendship? Who else is invoked in this verse? (Jesus Christ, in whose name friends salute each other; God/the Lord, whose grace seals and gives meaning to the friendship)

People say every once in a while that marriage is a three-way partnership between two spouses and God. Some one of you who is married, can you tell us something about how God is part of your marriage, and how you think your marriage might be different if you didn’t include the Lord?

If, then, God is made a partner to friendship, as this verse implies He could be, how might friendship be changed from a simple social arrangement, or something that is created casually because you work with someone or live in the same neighborhood with someone?

A speech of Alma the Elder, in the Book of Mormon, suggests some of the ways that a friendship “through the grace of God” is recognized.

Mosiah 18:8-10

8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

What do these verses say are part of the duties of friendship?

What are some of the rewards of this kind of friendship?

Keeping all these things in mind, what do you think Joseph Smith might have meant when he said “Friendship is the grand fundamental principle of Mormonism”? (23 July 1843, quoted in Willard Richards’ diary)

Scripture Discussion and Application

Let’s turn now to the book of 1 Samuel in the Old Testament to look at a story illustrating both the great friendship understood in a gospel context, and the failure of friendship when God is excluded from the relationship.

Write names on board: Saul, David, Jonathan Michal.

These are some of the characters in the story. who are they, and what are the family relationships among them. (Draw lines connecting the names as they are identified, showing what a tight knot of family and friendship should have existed among this group.) (When Saul is identified as the first King of Israel, repeat that identification, adding information as if the class member had included it: Saul was the first King of Israel, designated by God to be the king, and anointed by Samuel the prophet.)

After David slew Goliath, David was taken to meet King Saul, and was introduced to him.

1 Samuel 18:1-4

1 And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

2 And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house.

3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.

4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

Interestingly, although Saul welcomed and rewarded David, it was Jonathan rather than Saul who formed an almost instant attachment to David.

What elements do you see in this introduction that reflect the kind of friendship that we have been talking about? (souls knit together, Jonathan loved David as himself, they made a covenant together, presumably of mutual love and loyalty)

Verse 4 indicates that Jonathan took off his robe and dressed David in it, together with all of his battle gear. David accepted this equipment. Contrast that to what happened one chapter earlier, just as David was going out to fight against Goliath.

1 Samuel 17: 38-39

38 And Saul armed David with his armour, and he put an helmet of brass upon his head; also he armed him with a coat of mail.

39 And David girded his sword upon his armour, and he assayed to go; for he had not proved it. And David said unto Saul, I cannot go with these; for I have not proved them. And David put them off him.

On the surface, we can interpr3et this as Saul’s merely wanting to give David the best chance of success in battle, and David refusing the armor and weapons because he just wasn’t used to them. They would have hampered rather than helped him. Ancient Israelites, repeating this story, though, would have heard something else: The king’s armor and his weapons were symbolic of his office as king. David rejected them because he hadn’t proved (or tried) them – he had not yet done anything to earn kingship himself, and he would not wear the tokens that represented kingship. (Note, though, that the prophet Samuel had already privately anointed David to be a future king of Israel: 1 Samuel 16:13)

By the opening of Chapter 18, though, David has fought and conquered Israel’s enemy, not just in killing Goliath but also in leading the king’s army in pursuit of the Philistines, killing those who had come out to do battle with Saul. And remember that in those days, as the reign of the judges had just ended, the authority of the judges, and the sign that God was with them, was that they were able to destroy their enemies. In that context, David has proved himself worthy to be a king.

Notice also, in 1 Samuel 18:4, Jonathan not only gave David his armor, but he also dressed him in his robe. Robes will figure again later in this story. The robe, with its elaborate embroidered hem, was a symbol of royalty. Saul wore such a robe; Jonathan wore his because he was the prince, presumably next in line to be Israel’s king. Whether Jonathan intended this or not, later Israelites saw this story of Jonathan dressing David in his robe, as Jonathan’s transf3erring the right of kingship away from himself and onto David.

Before we go on, let’s talk a moment about Saul’s relationship with David at this point. What evidence is there from this passage at the beginning of 1 Samuel 18, that shows how Saul felt about David? (Saul made David a member of his household)

Would you say, then, that Saul was friendly toward David? What differences existed in the kind of friendship Saul offered, and the kind of friendship Jonathan offered, at this point? Think of your own friendship for a moment. Which friendships do you have that are more like Saul’s? Which that are like Jonathan’s?

Do you have Saul-like friendships that really are supposed to be more Jonathan-like friendships? How about your friendships as home or visiting teachers – are your visits merely social or dutiful? How could those relationships be made more Jonathan-like?

1 Samuel 18:5

5 And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.

So at first things went along smoothly: David served Saul wisely, and Saul rewarded him. The evidence to me of how wisely David acted is that Saul’s other servants accepted him – anybody who has ever held a job knows how hard it is for a newcomer to be accepted if he is put in authority over old-timers, especially if the newcomer is very young.

But then what happened?

6 And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of musick.

7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.

And what was Saul’s reaction?

8 And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?

9 And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.

Saul “eyed David” with the stinkeye, no doubt!

Have you had friendships turn sour, either because of your own behavior or that of your former friend? What causes friendship to fail this way?

Saul’s former friendship for David turned so bad that he tried to kill David. Even when Saul let David marry Saul’s daughter Michal, it was on the condition that he go out and fight the Philistines again, with Saul secretly hoping that David would be killed in battle. His jealousy of David had grown to such a level that he would use his own daughter in this way. Nor was it the last time – Saul made three more attempts to kill David, or have him killed, and all failed.

Jonathan’s friendship, and the covenant he had made with David, never wavered, even when Saul tried to use Jonathan to kill David. As we read this account, try to identify the ways that Jonathan showed his continued friendship for David, and why David remained loyal.

1 Samuel 19:1-7

1 And Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David.

2 But Jonathan Saul’s son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the morning, and abide in a secret place, and hide thyself:

3 And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where thou art, and I will commune with my father of thee; and what I see, that I will tell thee.

4 And Jonathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, Let not the king sin against his servant, against David; because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee-ward very good:

5 For he did put his life in his hand, and slew the Philistine, and the Lord wrought a great salvation for all Israel: thou sawest it, and didst rejoice: wherefore then wilt thou sin against innocent blood, to slay David without a cause?

6 And Saul hearkened unto the voice of Jonathan: and Saul sware, As the Lord liveth, he shall not be slain.

7 And Jonathan called David, and Jonathan shewed him all those things. And Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence, as in times past.

Jonathan was being loyal to David, even though that meant disobeying not only his father but his king.

Why do you suppose Jonathan was so loyal?

How did he manage to retain his loyalty in the face of his father’s anger?

Jonathan seems to have had a hard time believing that his father Saul was seriously intent on killing David.. But a series of events finally persuaded Jonathan that the threat was serious. Through a prearranged signal, Jonathan notified David that he must save his life by fleeing. Before he left, though, David came to say goodbye to Jonathan.

1 Samuel 20:41-42

41 And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded.

42 And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, The Lord be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city.

Let’s make sure that there is no understanding about this last verse. When Jonathan says, “The Lord be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed,” he means that the Lord will be a bound between them, not a wall separating them.

It’s one thing for Jonathan to be a friend to David – they knew each other; it was David’s choice. But think for a moment – Jonathan is promising that his descendants will be loyal to the descendants of David. What does that mean in this case, and why is this promise so important? (The royal line passes away from Jonathan and onto David – it might be natural to expect that Jonathan’s descendants, who might otherwise have been kings themselves, might resent David’s descendants, who do wear the crown.)

What might Jonathan have to do to be sure that his descendants remain loyal to David’s descendants?

How would including God as a member of the partnership of friends make that continued friendship through generations more likely?

Is there anything that we, as parents or grandparents or members of the Church, do to help make it more likely that future generations remain loyal to God, to prophets, to family, to other people and institutions that we would like them to cherish?

Conclusion

The lesson manual concludes by noting that “the story of Jonathan and David reminds us that true friendship and love bring us closer to our friends and to God.” I might turn that around a little to say that our own turning to God, and keeping in mind our covenant to “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times” comes first, and helps us to become closer and more true to those who should be our friends.

Returning to the greeting used in the School of the Prophets, I say,

Art thou a brother or [a sister]? I salute you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, in token or remembrance of the everlasting covenant, in which covenant I receive you to fellowship, in a determination that is fixed, immovable, and unchangeable, to be your friend and [sister] through the grace of God in the bonds of love, to walk in all the commandments of God blameless, in thanksgiving, forever and ever. Amen.

Ideas for strengthening this lesson by giving a deeper, more Mormon aspect to friendship were provided by Ben S at Benjamin the Scribe, including his pointer to Jim Faulconer’s Speaking Silence.